Welcome to part two where we are looking at strategies to coach your teen in career choices. In this article we continue to use the RESULTS Model to form empowering questions that inspire ownership and direction.

To recap briefly, the RESULTS Model consists of;

R - Reality – where are you now compared to where you could be?
E - Effort – how could you overcome the “gunna” ?
S - Setting your focus – How do you want it to be?
U - Understand you – What are your interests and strengths?
L - Listen & Learn – Who are some role models you could learn from?
T - Take action – What action are you going to take?
S - Success –How will you know you have done well? How will you reward this?

I recently conducted a workshop with a group of year 11 & 12 student leaders where we explored the results they would like to achieve in their roles. The comments made by this group where they often felt passionate about initiating change but powerless to do anything about it. They would have ideas, but felt adults would often respond with an attitude of impossibility, placing barriers before them. After discussing this further with them we began to focus on what they had control over as opposed to areas they had little control. We looked at possibilities instead of barriers and we brainstormed the individual strengths each person had that would contribute to achieving their desired result. The outcome of this process was not only ground breaking for these students, but inspiring for me to witness young people believe they can make a difference.

Strategies to help your child get results

Encourage self awareness - Understand you

• Ask your child to list 5 things they like about themselves. (Often it is easy to list the things we don’t like about ourselves but we find it harder to acknowledge our good qualities)
  
• List 5 physical skills they are good at, eg sports, music, building, creating, technology
  
• List 5 relationship skills they offer, eg. Caring, honest, listener, responsible, helpful, initiative, leadership, friendly, tidy, reliable

The purpose of these questions is to focus on the skills they have and skills they could offer future employers. Everyone has something to offer, whether they have an interest in technology or a passion for artistic creation. By highlighting the skills they have, they are able to feel a sense of direction in exploring career choices aligned with that area. When conducting workshops on career coaching, I encourage students to rate themselves against the “Employability Skills” (a set of skills such as teamwork, leadership, initiative, problem solving, time management and technology used in career education to prepare students for the workforce. By asking the questions above, you are in effect doing the same thing.

Learn from what others have done

• Ask your child who inspires them? Who do they think about when they hear the word success or happiness?
  
• Why is this person inspiring to them? What do they do that is of interest to them?
  
• What has this person done to be where they are?
  
• What successes and failures have they had?
  
• If this person was in their position right now, what advice do you think they would give?

There are so many inspiring people that have come before us. We do not always have to reinvent the wheel, and let’s face it, who has the time anyway? So, for this reason, it makes sense to study those people who inspire us, explore what they did to be where they are, and take on some of those strategies so we too can be where we want to be. As Anthony Robbins says, if you have several people all making the same cake, you would expect them all to use the same recipe. If you want to achieve the results other people have, it makes sense to use their recipe. Find biographies of people with likeminded interests and discuss the recipe or actions they took to be where they are. By having your eyes open to this way of thinking, all of a sudden you start to see what is possible.

Take action

• Ask your child how they will know they are successful?
  
• At what point will they acknowledge their efforts and how will they do this?
  
• Is it when they get a job? When they earn a particular amount of money? When they are the manager? When they have sold a certain amount? When they have developed fun relationships with clients and colleagues? When they are able to buy their own clothes?
  
• How will they reward their success? Will they draw up their own certificate? Take themselves on a date? Buy themselves a treat? Share the experience with others?

To achieve any result requires effort. Everyone enjoys their efforts being acknowledged. It is a well known fact that we as humans respond better to praise than we do to punishment. The only problem is, we are often harder on ourselves than we are on others. The key to success in this context is to praise ourselves, to reward ourselves and acknowledge the great work we have done leading up to this point – even small steps need praise. Too often we rely on others to notice our good efforts but this can lead to disappointment if it doesn’t occur in the manner we expect, time we expect, and to the degree we expect. To avoid this potential disappointment we can sing our own praises. This internal self satisfaction is much more powerful than that of external praise from others.

Final thoughts

The bottom line to coaching our children is to highlight to them the talents they have, the people that have come before them who have achieved greatness and to remember life rewards effort not excuses. All results require action of some form. Sometimes our choices can make us feel as though we are in a maze, turning down roads that lead nowhere but even this process serves a purpose of learning. Life is not linear from start to finish but with many twists and turns. As parents, if we want our children to prosper we need to give them a foundation by which to achieve results that allows for these twists and turns. The Results Model does this. Enjoy having these powerful conversations with your children as you coach them in successful career choices. For more coaching tips visit www.adolescenttoolbox.com or for a personalised coaching session with Daniela Falecki, call 0410685764.