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 The
following strategies can help both teenagers and
parents deal with bullies.
- Ignoring is a good option, but many
young people don't do this as well as they think. They
look upset or angry, and so give a message to the name
callers that they have got through to them. Kids need
to really show that the name-calling is so trivial they
don't care about it.
- Treating the teasing as a
joke,
or using "comebacks" can work, if delivered
in an appropriate manner. Rehearsing these
at home, or with the help of older brothers
or sisters can be very useful.
- Seeking support from teachers and
dealing directly with those involved might be necessary,
if teasing becomes abusive and is interfering with the
young person's participation and enjoyment of school.
- Where possible, monitor or limit some of the out of
hours gossip on telephones or internet.
- Support the young person's vulnerable self-esteem by
encouraging other friendships and maintaining extra-curricular
interests. This can help an adolescent get through these
difficult times of social bullying. Informing staff if
things go too far is appropriate, but not always a solution
due to the underhandedness of these attacks.
If
an assault has taken outside the jurisdiction of the
school, reporting to the police may be appropriate ,
and the only way to ensure your son or daughter's safety.
Whatever the age, there
may be those who attempt to bully others. Unobserved
by adults, the real goings-on of the playground can be
a tough place for the sensitive, the shy or those who
seem different in some, perhaps trivial way.
Parents often feel frustrated and upset
by their child's unhappiness and angry at the behaviour
of other children. The parents' role includes both seeking
an intervention to stop the bullying and helping children
develop the social skills and friendships which may prevent
them being subjected to it in the future.
Useful reference for parents:
Bully
Busting, by Evelyn Field
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